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How to Choose a Good Videographer

Your wedding day is one of the most memorable events in your life and should be captured for you to enjoy for years to come.  Beautiful, lasting images created through videography and photography form an enduring record of your special day and are well worth the investment. 

Your wedding video should reflect that sense of individuality that makes your wedding so special to you. Taking the time to be selective in your choice of a video company will be rewarded in a wedding video that uniquely reflects who you are as a couple and the special day you planned to celebrate the commencement of your life together. 

Before spending valuable time and energy driving to numerous locations, first call to collect data such as type of equipment, time limitations, travel limits, number of cameras, cost, and number of finished copies. This will give you an idea of the range of value that is available, but don't let costs be your sole determining factor.   After all, most professional companies in the same locale are usually within a very close price range.   

When talking to video companies, compare videographers' training and experience and quality level of their equipment. Narrow down your search to several companies and make an appointment to talk to them in person.

DEMAND A PROFESSIONAL:

One of the most important questions you can ask is this:  "What kind of background, training, and experience does the videographer shooting my wedding have?" Beware of large companies who shoot for volume business.  They are often forced to hire employees with little or no experience.  Your wedding is not the time for these novice camera operators to get "on-the-job" training.  In fact, get the name and credentials of the videographer written into your contract so there no "last-minute emergencies." 

Likewise, beware of "part-time" operators who went out and bought video equipment because they thought wedding shoots would make a great part-time weekend job.  You want a professional who has dedicated himself to a full-time career in  videography.

Professional level equipment is critical:

Cameras:  For the highest quality pictures, the best professionals now use three-chip digital cameras.  A standard in the broadcast industry, these cameras offer the sharpest, clearest picture and sound available, and the digital format is much more durable, versatile, and reliable.   Because most wedding videos use two-camera shots (for interest and versatility), make sure your videographer has at least three cameras.  Backup equipment just makes good common sense and protects you from losing precious moments that can never be recaptured again.

Audio:  Make sure your videographer is using a wireless microphone for the groom to wear during the ceremony to ensure excellent sound quality, especially during the vows. Also, if you are using the videographer during your reception or wedding dance, wireless microphones will be needed for good audio during the reception itself.    

Editing systems:  In addition to broadcast-quality cameras and microphones, the most conscientious professionals use nonlinear digital editing systems; in other words, the images from your wedding are transferred to a computer for digital editing. This allows the videographer great versatility and precision in preparing your final wedding video while maintaining the digital quality, clear up to the final editing when the digital images are transferred to your wedding tape.    

Also, ask your videographer how long he maintains a digital master of your wedding in case you or family members want extra copies later.     

When you are previewing a sample video, look for clarity of sound, clear focus, natural color, good lighting, and smooth transitions of scenes.   

Decide on the type of images you want, but don't be afraid to be creative:

There are certain traditional shots that most couples want in their wedding video, but be creative.  Brainstorm ideas and scenes you would like to enjoy for the rest of your life, and make sure the videographer is open to your ideas. Avoid companies that are unreceptive to input from you. After all, it is your wedding. 

Make sure your expectations match your videographer's style.  Some videographers prefer formal, elegant shoots while others go after MTV-like glitz and special effects.  Since this is the record of your day, make sure your videographer understands what you are after and is willing to accommodate your wishes.   

One word of caution:  Make sure your videographer and photographer are discreet.  You want your guests to remember the beauty of your ceremony, not intrusive cameramen. Also, it's probably a good idea to keep "cutesy" animations in your final production to a minimum.  These tend to detract from the elegance of the final production and usually go out of vogue more quickly than personal images. 

Here are some other helpful hints when choosing a videographer:

* High cost does not necessarily equal high quality. Ask for references.

* Plan your wedding with your videographer carefully so that you both know what to expect and don't run into last minute problems.

*Book your date well in advance so that you are guaranteed the services of the videographer of your choice. 

*Make sure the videographer is willing to attend the wedding rehearsal.  This practice "run-through" guarantees that the videographer has no surprises at the ceremony and is prepared to capture every shot.  It is also imperative that he checks for any special lighting or technical problems ahead of time.  If the videographer is not willing to attend the rehearsal, get another one who will. 

*When comparing companies be sure to find out if there are any hidden costs, such as travel, special effects, more than one videographer/camera, or for additional time if there are time restrictions. Read the contract thoroughly, including any fine print before you sign. Put everything in writing so there is no miscommunication. Because of the wide range of prices available, compare what you get for your money as well as what you don't get. 

* Check with your clergyperson to see if the church imposes any camera restrictions and communicate these with your videographer well ahead of time.  For example, if the church does not allow cameras near the alter, then frontal shots of the ceremony will be impossible to get.  The videographer needs this information well in advance to plan how to cope with the difficulty this presents.  For example, some churches will compromise and allow a remote controlled, stationary camera to be set discreetly behind but to the side of the dais. 

* Even if you prefer traditional, formal shots of your wedding, consider having your videographer film candid shots of your guests enjoying themselves during the reception.  Also, many bridal couples enjoy having their guests offer "Advice and Congratulations" on camera.  There are many options available.  Discuss these with your videographer during the planning stage of your wedding video. 

* If there are individuals you do not want the videographer to miss, inform him/her ahead of time. It is usually a good idea to assign someone to assist the videographer during the reception to point out grandmothers, relatives, and special friends you want included in your video.  A written list prepared for the videographer ahead of time will make sure no one is missed. 

* Consider having your videographer create childhood or courtship photomontages or a "Love Story" video ahead of time to show during your wedding reception.  Bridal couples find their guests really enjoy this unique account of the bride and groom's personal history, especially out-of-town relatives and friends who have missed many of the courtship details. 

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How to Choose a Good Photographer

Your wedding day is one of the most memorable events in your life and should be captured for you to enjoy for years to come.  Lasting images created through photography and videography form an enduring record of your special day and are well worth the investment.  

Select your photographer carefully. Get recommendations from friends and family and look at their wedding albums. 

The album should be well balanced. Good color photos should be clear and in focus. Look for overall creativity and the use of different photographic treatments. Make appointments with two or three photographers and review their portfolios to determine if their style matches what you want. Prior to your wedding schedule to speak with the person who will actually be photographing your wedding. Personality is as important as quality in choosing your photographer.


When you meet with your photographer it is important to discuss the following:

* His/Her experience in photography. How long has he/she been in the business and how long has he/she been photographing weddings.
* How many photos will be taken and what will be taken.
* What size pictures will be included in the album or package.
*Does the photographer take film or digital photographs? What can he/she tell you about the quality of their equipment?
* Style of the album (i.e., is the album plastic or genuine leather).
* Do you have any special packages and what are the costs.
* Do these costs include the album.
* Are there any extra fees?
* How long after the wedding does the photographer keep t he negatives.
* Are the negatives properly stored for future use?

Once you choose your photographer, get a written contract specifying the time your photographer is to arrive, the number of pictures, how long the photographer stays and the delivery date. 

Discuss different photo settings, special locations, family members other than the wedding party, lighting restrictions and a contact person to help point out certain people. You may consider taking formal portraits a few weeks before the ceremony. These are usually taken in the photographers studio with all the necessary lighting, backdrops and equipment. Remember to bring your own props - wear your hair and accessories the same way as you plan to on your wedding day. Review specific scenes with your photographer carefully so everything you want is included.

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Traditional Wedding Moments Caught on Video or Film

Before The Ceremony

* Bride fixing veil in mirror with mother
* Bride alone
* Bride with parents
* Bride putting boutonniere on father
* Bride with matron or maid of honor
* Bride with flower girl
* Bride with attendants
* Father putting garter on bride and placing penny in shoe
* Bride leaving to go to church
* Groom alone
* Groom shaking hands with best man
* Groom wiping brow and looking at watch with best man
* Groom with parents
* Groom/ushers putting on boutonnieres
* Groom leaving for ceremony

At The Ceremony

* Guest being seated with ushers
* Bride and father getting out of car
* Groom's parents being seated
* Ushers at alter
* Processional
* Father giving daughter away
* The kiss
* Vows/Exchanging rings
* Lighting of candles
* Pictures from back of church
* Recessional
* Leaving church throwing confetti...
* Bride and groom in limo/car

Before The Reception

* Bride and groom
* Bride and groom with bride's family
* Bride and groom with groom's family
* Bride and groom's family together
* Bride and groom with maid/matron of honor and best man
* Bride and groom with bridal party
* Bride and groom's hands

At The Reception

* The receiving line
* Bride and groom greeting guest in the receiving line
* The best man's speech
* The bride and groom toasting
* The head table/parents table
* The cake table
* Bride and groom cutting and feeding each other the cake
* Bride and grooms first dance
* Parents and bridal party dancing
* Bride and father dancing
* Groom and mother dancing
* Other guests dancing
* Bride throwing the bouquet
* Groom taking garter off the bride
* Groom throwing the garter
* Man who caught the garter putting it on the women who caught bouquet
* Grand March 
* Special friends and family pictures
* Bride and groom waving good-bye

Hiring a competent, personable photographer is worth the research. Your photographer should be someone you trust to capture the feelings, expressions and moments of your special day. 

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Flowers

Bursting with quiet beauty, your wedding flowers help to create that special mood for your wedding day. When selecting your flowers, keep in mind your overall color scheme, dress style, other wedding apparel, time of day, season, environment, what you like and your budget. Typically your flowers will be about 10% to 15% of your overall budget.

Choosing flowers is easy and cost effective if you plan around seasonal blooms. Select flowers that will tie your wedding style into the season. Spring brings a profusion of daffodils, lilacs and peonies. Summer abounds with asters, gladioli and orchids. Autumn casts a multitude of zinnias, marigolds, mimosas and button chrysanthemums. Winter becomes dramatic with deep red roses, poinsettias, stephanotis and freesia. 

Keep in mind the total effect you're trying to create. Imagine how everything will look from the back of the church to the color of table linens in the reception room (see floral chart for other suggestions).

Seeking advice from a professional florist or floral designer will help in your decision making. Start at least six to twelve months in advance of your wedding. Bring fabric swatches, descriptions and photos of wedding apparel, mothers' gowns and attire of the groom and attendants. Don't forget a list of those who need flowers (typically the entire wedding party), a description of the size and the number of tables at the reception, date, time and location of deliveries, any church rules, a budget and a contact person.

Traditionally the bridal bouquet is composed of all white flowers, but color is appropriate. Your bouquet may be a lovely cascade of roses, a cluster of lilies or an arm bouquet of stephanotis. If you choose to keep your bouquet, ask your florist to give you a small throwing bouquet, or purchase one. Your bouquet has a timeless beauty all its own. There are many ways to preserve your bouquet. Place it beneath a glass case with the moisture removed, keep your bouquet in a shadowbox, make a potpourri or press and frame your flowers - pressed flowers can also be used to adorn your wedding invitation.

Bouquets for your attendants are usually similar to your bouquet in size and shape, but colors and flowers may differ. Their flowers should complement their style of dresses. The maid or matron of honor's bouquet may be a different color or larger size than the rest of your attendants. The flower girl may wear a wreath and carry a nosegay or small basket of flowers. Mothers may choose to wear a corsage or not. Grandmothers should also be presented a corsage. The groom, fathers and ushers traditionally wear boutonnieres. A popular choice is a white rosebud or carnation. The ring bearer may or may not wear a boutonniere, depending on his outfit.

The church may be decorated with flowers and plants, depending on the mood you want to create, any church rules and your budget. Flowers are used to purposefully draw all eyes to the front of the church and the bridal couple. You may choose to drape ribbons and flowers down the aisles to mark pews and add color. Use table centerpieces on both sides of the altar or place centerpieces down the aisle. Jewish ceremony vows are spoken under a chuppah that is placed at the altar and decorated with greenery and fresh flowers. Flower laden arches are popular for outdoor ceremonies.

Flowers at the reception should complement table linens and the size of the tables. If a buffet table is used you may want to place an arrangement there. You may also rent indoor plants or small trees from your florist as well as canopies, twinkle lights and an aisle runner.

An equally beautiful alternative to fresh flowers is silk flower arrangements. Silk flowers are guaranteed to last and can be enjoyed long after your special day. You may opt for silk flowers alone or in combination with fresh flowers. Whether you choose silk, fresh or a combination of both, your wedding flowers will play an important role in your special day.

Wedding Flowers:  Colors, Seasonal Availability, and Traditional Symbolism                               

Flowers Often Required for Weddings        

• Bridal Bouquet, Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, Flower Girl, Mothers' Corsages, Headpieces

• Boutonnieres for Groom, Attendants, Ring Bearer, Fathers

• Ceremony Flowers for Altar, Aisle or Pew, Candelabras, Arches
  Reception Flowers:  Centerpieces, Cake Table, 

• Miscellaneous
  

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Caterer

Your wedding is a time to celebrate with good food, good drinks, and good company. A caterer normally is used when you are planning a function that is outdoors, at a site that does not serve food or have adequate facilities, or when you just want to kick back and enjoy the day. It is highly recommended to use a professional caterer for your reception verses doing it yourself. You do not want to create additional stress on your wedding day by having to worry about the food, beverage and setup. Leave the catering up to the professionals.

A professional caterer will take care of most of your reception needs. They will
help you plan a perfect menu within your budget, do all the food and beverage shopping, prepare the food, beautifully display the food and beverages, and clean-up afterwards.

A caterer should be booked at least six to nine months prior to your wedding day. Before you meet with a caterer understand your budget, the formality and style of your ideal wedding, the number of guests, the date and time of your wedding, and where you would like to have your reception. It is a good idea to ask close friends and family for recommendations. You will want to find someone that you feel comfortable with handling your event, can easily adopt to the style of your reception, offers good suggestions, is flexible, and has the experience working with tent rental agencies, photographers, florists, musicians, etc.

Before making your final decision you should have talked to more than one caterer. Ask to sample the menu options you are interested in. Ask for references and pictures of previous events. You may also want to arrange to visit another catered event to see how it is organized, to get some ideas, to see how the food is displayed and how much food is available.

Once you have chosen your caterer bring him/her to the reception site to inspect the kitchen facilities and to help you design a layout that will be comfortable for your guests (tables, chairs, bar, buffet, gifts table...). Also, inform your caterer of the events that will take place throughout the day or evening so he/she will be able to plan accordingly.

A professional caterer can make your reception a real success and fill your day with pleasant and lasting memories.

Below are some questions you should ask your caterer before signing a contract with a caterer. In addition, get a complete quotation itemizing all costs (food per person, beverage per person, service, rentals, tax, gratuity...) and make sure you read the small print.

* What are the menu options (finger foods, buffet, sit-down, sweets table)?
* Can the menu be modified? If so, is there an extra charge?
* Can you accommodate guests if they have dietary restrictions?
* What are your beverage options (open bar, cash bar, nonalcoholic...)?
* What is included in the beverage price (tax, gratuity, champagne for bride and groom)?
* What is the cost per person (food, beverage, liquor)?
* What does the price include (table, chairs, linens, china, tableware, setting-up, servers, decorations, valet parking, bartenders, cake cutter, clean-up...)?
* What color linens are available?
*Do you also make wedding cakes? 
*Will a master of ceremonies be provided to announce the different wedding events (ordoeuvre hour, dinner is served, toast, blessing, cutting of cake...)?
*When do you need a final head count?
*How do you handle unexpected guests?
*Do you have any outlet requirements?
*How many servers will there be and what is their attire?
*How long will the catering staff work? Is there a overtime charge?
*Who is responsible for overseeing the staff throughout the day?
*What is your cancellation policy?
*Is a deposit required? How much?
*How is the final payment to be made and when is it due? 

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Wedding Cakes

Since the days of the Roman empire, the wedding cake has been a ritual and a symbol of the bride and grooms willingness to share each others household from then on. Traditionally, it is a white cake with white butter cream frosting. You may, however, choose other flavors such as chocolate, carrot, rum, fudge, white-chocolate, lemon or cheese cake.

Choose fillings that complement the cake flavor. Cakes may be decorated with fresh and silk flowers, delicate colorful frosting flowers and borders, mini-figurines, glass or crystal toppers.

Select your baker three months in advance of your wedding.

When you meet with your baker, describe your wedding, number of guests, location and time of the reception. Look at photos of specially made cakes and ask to taste samples if possible. Order your cake one month in advance and request a receipt describing the type of cake you have ordered, filling, icing, style, and color of decorations.

Typically the wedding cake sits on a skirted table which is wheeled into the center of the room when the bride and groom cut the cake. The groom places his right hand over the brides and cuts the first slice, which they share. The rest is cut and served to guests. Don't forget to save and freeze the top cake layer to share on your first anniversary. Your baker can advise you on wrapping and freezing the top layer.

The grooms cake is traditionally a gift from the bride to the groom and given as a special way of honoring him (or letting him know he hasn't been forgotten!). This cake may be dark with either fruits and nuts or soaked in liquor. The grooms cake may be presented in a number of ways - during the celebration, included as one of the layers in the bridal cake, served at the reception as a second choice, served at the rehearsal dinner, or specially boxed miniatures given as gifts to attendants. One superstition about the grooms cake is that the maid who sleeps with a slice of grooms cake under her pillow (properly wrapped) will dream of her future husband.

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How to Choose a Disc Jockey

Start interviewing for musical entertainment after you know the location and date of the reception. Entertainment should be booked as much as 1 year in advance. 

Whether you choose a band or DJ, let them know the specifics of your wedding. Ask if they have any special requirements. Most will include in their contract that they're provided with food. Ask your caterer to set aside a small area or room where they can take short breaks. 

Also remember to delegate someone to make sure the entertainer receives a check when the evening is over.

DJs are usually less expensive than bands and popular for those who want to hear the original artist's recordings, not someone else's arrangements. You should decide whether you want an interactive DJ who announces events throughout the evening or one who sticks to playing the music. 

The DJ you choose should be personable, play a good mix of music and bring his or her own sound system. A quality sound system can offer quality entertainment.

When you listen to a DJ look for clarity and consistency of sound.

All forms of music such as CD's, tapes and albums should be offered. Check the DJ's music library to make sure he/she has the type of music you want.

Give the DJ a list of songs, in advance, that you want played in addition to his or her own standard songs. 

Standard playing time is usually 4 hours - 6 hours. Most DJs charge from $400 to $1200 for a 4 hour reception. 

It is also recommended to see a live performance to assure the quality of the service.

QUESTIONS TO ASK A  DJ 

* What dates and times do you have available?
* What wedding packages do you have available?
* How many people will be working with you on my wedding day?
* Do you have special lighting effects?
* If so, is there a charge?
* Ask for a list of songs that are available to you. 
* What is your attire while you are working?
* Do you have references? 
* What is your experience?
* Do you have a demo tape?
* Where will you be playing/performing next? Schedule to see the band or DJ in action.
* Do you have back-up equipment/instruments if something fails?
* How much room will you need for setting up?
* If you are ill on my wedding day who will be your replacement?
* How many breaks do you take? For how long?
* Will there be music playing while you are on break?
* What is your fee and do you charge for overtime?
* Are there any traveling fees?
* What power supply requirements do you have (i.e., number of outlets)?
* What type of deposit do you require to hold the wedding date?

  What to include in your contract with a DJ:

* Date and time of your wedding. 
* Location of reception. 
* Directions to the reception (if necessary). 
* The number of hours they will be at the event.
* Exact times of performance.
* Itemize all costs (possible overtime charges).
* List deposits. 
* Any other service you discussed 

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Bridal Registry

Traditionally, wedding gifts and showers were designed to furnish a first home, but today's lifestyle is more contemporary. 

The average age for a bride is 26 and 28 for a groom. Many couples live together before tying the knot. 

Second marriages are also on the rise. Now more than ever, registering is important for those who are marrying older and already have plenty of the necessary household items.

The bridal registry is a free service offered by most specialty and department stores to engaged couples. Bridal consultants are usually available to assist you in your selections. 

Registering should be a joint effort between you and your fiancé. This feature lets gift-giving friends and relatives know your preferences and feel good that what they've chosen is something you really want. Don't limit yourself to one store. Register at your favorite specialty shops in addition to one or more department stores (gardening, music, household, hardware...) . 

You may also want to consider mail order registry for out-of-town guests. To avoid duplicate gifts don't register for the same item at more than one store.

Start making decisions about bedding accessories, china, crystal and flatware patterns, and other household items as soon as you set your wedding date. 

Schedule an appointment with the store or stores you'd like to register at so the consultant will allow enough time to help you. Arrange for at least 2 hours or set up several shorter appointments so you don't have to make too many decisions at once. 

The consultant will give you a form to write in your choices and help narrow down your options by asking you questions about family and lifestyle. Let your needs and wants guide your choices. When your guests shop, they can ask for the list and see what you've chosen. 

Remember to list a wide variety of items in all price ranges to suit your guests' budgets and update your listings as your gifts arrive.

Proper etiquette for informing your guests about your selected registries is to let your mother, future mother-in-law and bridesmaids spread the word. It's also proper to include Registered at . . . on your shower invitations, but not your wedding invitations. Some stores provide free registry cards that can be inserted into shower invitations or handed out by family and bridal party members.

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Bridal Showers

Traditionally bridal showers are a celebration given in honor of the bride to outfit the couple for their life together. Showers are usually given by close friends or a female relative, other than the bride's mother or sister. 

Showers occur from three months to two weeks before the wedding and are usually held in the afternoon as an informal luncheon or tea. Couples showers are the most popular today and are held in the evening accompanied by a cocktail hour. Shower themes should be fun as well as useful. Kitchen, lingerie, linens or plant themes are popular for all female showers. Themes for couples showers may range from gifts for the bar or kitchen, to home repair or sports equipment.

Games are usually played during the shower which give guests an opportunity to win a small gift. A questionnaire that challenges guests' knowledge about the bridal pair and a wedding word scramble are some ways to add fun to a shower. 

There are a few customs that usually take place at all female showers. Ribbons and bows are saved from the gifts received. The ribbons are then tied together and made into a ribbon rope which encircles the group of guests. The girl with the most knots in her hand will be the next to marry. Bows from the packages are pulled through holes made in a round piece of cardboard or two paper plates. The bride is supposed to use this make-believe bouquet at the rehearsal ceremony.

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Invitations

When your guests receive your wedding invitation they will immediately know the style and mood of your wedding day. Because of their social importance and expense, choose your invitations carefully. Look at several styles and colors which are available at most printing shops or personal businesses that specialize in wedding invitations.

Who To Invite

Sending a wedding invitation to a family member or friend is a sign of affection and respect. It also conveys your desire to make that person feel good about participating in your joyous occasion. You may want to prepare two lists - make one your first priority and the other your second priority. 


In your first priority list include both immediate families, attendants, spouses, fiancés or special escorts of the attendants, both sets of godparents if they're close to you, your clergyman and his wife. Your second priority list should include distant relatives and family friends, parents or siblings closest to you or your attendants, your bosses, best friends, close work associates, close leisure associates, close former teacher, close business associates of both sets of parents, doctor, lawyer and their spouses.

Formal or Informal Invitations

Formal invitations are engraved with black ink on heavy ivory or white paper. 

These are often kept as mementos of the wedding and are usually handsome and luxurious. Less formal invitations are done in a variety of creative ways. Some send handwritten notes in black ink on good quality white or ivory paper. Others print text on good quality stationery available in a variety of color stocks and inks. Perhaps you may want to include an illustration or photo with your invitation. 

Ordering Your Invitations

Order your invitations 4 or more months in advance. Select other personalized items such as announcements, reply cards, reception cards, thank you cards, notepaper, matchbooks, napkins, at home cards, map or directions to the ceremony and reception, place cards for the reception or wedding programs. Understand the number of invitations needed, your budget, wording, day, date, time and place of ceremony and reception site. 

Ask the person you are ordering from for a list of examples of the proper wordings for invitations. There are numerous wordings to choose from (wordings for second marriages, when the bride's family sponsors the wedding, when the bride's step parent(s) sponsors the wedding, if parents are divorced, if one parent is deceased...). When you are ready to make your final decision type or clearly print all the information needed for your invitations so there's no confusion at the printers. Don't forget to order 25 extra envelopes and invitations in case of mistakes, added guests, and for keepsakes. Reordering small quantities can be very costly.

Addressing Your Envelopes

Invitations are always hand addressed in dark blue or black ink. You should clearly handwrite or engrave the return address in the upper left hand corner on the front of the envelope. If you do not have attractive handwriting consider hiring a professional calligrapher. They normally charge on a per envelope basis. 

The inside envelope is addressed to the family name and title of a person. Write the names of children under 18 beneath their parents names. Children over 18 should receive their own invitations. Spell out all names, street, city and state names. Abbreviations are acceptable for Mr., Mrs., Dr., Sr., and Jr. Insert the invitation, printed side up, into an ungummed envelope so it faces the flap. Next, insert reception cards, response cards (lying face up in their envelopes), map, parking instructions and pew number card respectively. 

Mailing Your Invitations

You should mail your invitations at least 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Hand stamp the invitation and reply envelopes with attractive postage stamps. Remember to weigh the invitation with all of its parts before you buy the stamps so you know the appropriate postage to affix. 

Other Helpful Hints

For out-of-town guests you may want to include weekend accommodations, transportation, calendar of events, local hotels and/or restaurant information, prior to sending your invitation.

Announcement cards may be sent to friends and relatives not invited to the wedding, following the ceremony. Thank-you notes for wedding gifts should be written within two weeks and no more than two months after the wedding. Both the bride and groom should share in the writing to guests. Use notepaper engraved with your new monogram or use good quality plain notepaper available at most stationery stores.

A personal handwritten note thanking each person who sent a gift makes the giver feel appreciated. Also send thank-you notes to people who gave parties for your wedding. These should be written the day after.

Marriage License

Marriage license guidelines vary from state to state and change from time to time. It is recommended that you call your local marriage bureau to get the most up to date information.

Here are some questions you should ask:

*Do you and your fiancé have to go to the marriage bureau in person?
*Are you required to get a blood test or medical exam?
* If you are under 18 years of age, do your parents have to accompany you with proper identification?
*What kind of Identification is needed for proof of age (drivers license, birth certificate, baptismal record, military id)?
*Do applicants born outside of the US need to bring additional information and identification?
*What is the license fee?  Can you pay in check?
*If this is remarriage, do you need to bring divorce papers?
*How long is the marriage valid for? 
*Is the marriage license issued on the same day you apply or is there a wait period?  Is it valid immediately?
*Is the license valid throughout the state?
*What hours is the registry office open?  

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Attendants' Duties

Maid/Matron Of Honor Duties

*Assist the bride in the wedding planning and shopping
*Help the bride address invitations and other tasks
*Plan and contribute to bridal shower or party for the bride/groom
*Bachelorette Party
*Coordinate shower gift with bridesmaids if giving one gift
*Attend pre-wedding events
*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*Travel expenses
*Arrive early at brides home to help dress and prepare for photos
*During the ceremony hold grooms ring and bride's bouquet
*During the ceremony adjust bride's gown, veil, and train
*Sign marriage license as a legal witness
*May offer a toast to bride and groom at the reception; mingle at reception
*Wedding gift
*Helps bride change into going away clothes after the reception 



Bridesmaids Duties

*Help the bride address invitations and other tasks
*Participate and contribute to bridal shower
*Shower Gift
*Offer to do last minute errands
*Attend pre-wedding events
*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*Travel expenses
*Arrive at the brides home prior to ceremony for photographs
*Wedding Gift 

Best Man Duties

*Assists the groom with wedding details
*Bachelor Party
*Coordinate gift for groom with groomsmen if giving one gift
*Attends pre-wedding events
*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*Travel expenses
*Arrives at grooms home before ceremony
*Provides transportation for groom to ceremony and from reception
*Provides car decorations and responsible for decorating cars (If a limo co. is hired, 
decorations may be provided as part of the wedding package).
*Sign marriage license as a legal witness
*During the ceremony hold brides ring
*Hold the clergy fee for the groom
*Offer the first toast to bride and groom at the reception
*Return grooms attire to rental shop.
*Wedding Gift
*Confirm honeymoon travel arrangements for groom 

Ushers Duties

*Offer groom assistance with his planning
*Help with bachelor party
*Attend pre-wedding events
*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*Travel expenses
*Wedding Gift
*Escort guests to seats for ceremony (brides guests to left and grooms guests to right)
*Escort bridesmaids down the aisle (processional and recessional)
*Unroll aisle runner
*Dance and mingle with guests throughout the reception 

Junior Bridesmaid (8-15 yrs old) Duties

*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*May help with wedding tasks
*Attend pre-wedding events
*Arrive at the brides home prior to ceremony for photographs
*May or may not be escorted by usher 

Ring Bearer (4-7 yrs old) Duties

*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*May or may not attend pre-wedding events
*May hand out programs to guests prior to ceremony
*Carries pillow up the aisle
*May accompany flower girl up and down aisle 

Flower Girl (4-7 yrs old) Duties

*May or may not attend pre-wedding events
*The purchase of wedding attire and accessories
*May arrive at the bride's home prior to ceremony for photographs
*May hand out programs to guests prior to ceremony
*May sprinkle rose petals down the aisle prior to bride going up the aisle
*Carries basket of flowers up the aisle 

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Gifts for your Attendants

It has been a tradition for the bride and groom to present gifts to each other, their attendants and both sets of parents. Some brides and grooms have also offered gifts to those who have greatly helped with the wedding. The gifts are presented before the wedding, typically at the rehearsal dinner. Some have presented the bridesmaids' gifts at a lunch or party or the ushers' gifts at the bachelor party or dinner.

With any gift you choose, just remember that you should give a gift that you would like to receive. Give careful thought to all the special people that are taking part in your wedding and try to select gifts that are representative of their tastes, as well as your own. Gifts convey your appreciation, happiness and love.

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Wedding Gowns

With the number of bridal shops and dressmakers in the Wichita area you are likely to find a gown that will help you make a statement on your wedding day. 

Below are some suggestions before you make your selection. 

BUDGET

Wedding gowns can range from a few hundred dollars to several thousand dollars. Therefore, it is important for you to understand your budget. 

Your budget should include the cost of your gown and accessories (headpiece, veil, jewelry, stockings, shoes...). 

TYPES OF WEDDING GOWNS 

* Very formal. Bride is in a full and long gown, cathedral train, gloves or long sleeves to cover arms, headpiece, veil, and full bouquet. 
* Formal. Bride is in a long gown with chapel or swap train, veil, headpiece, and bouquet. 
* Semi formal. Bride is in pastel, ivory or a white color gown that is tea-length or floor length, no train, short veil, hat or wreath, and a simple bouquet. 
* Informal. Bride is in a dress or suit, hat, gloves, holds a small bouquet or wears a corsage. 

WHEN

Look for your wedding gown as soon as possible. You want to allow yourself plenty of time to make this decision. Most dresses take about 4 to 6 months to order. The gown may then need to be altered and/or fitted properly. 

STYLE

Start familiarizing yourself with the latest styles of wedding gowns. Bridal magazines are usually a good source. If you find a style you like in a bridal magazine present it to the bridal shop. They may have that particular style or a similar one you can try on. Make an appointment to try on gowns with a reputable bridal shop ahead of time so the sales person can spend time with you. Try on various styles to see what looks and feels best on you (high/low neckline, full/straight, ivory/white, short/long sleeves...). 

FABRICS

The various fabrics include silk, satin, cotton, velvet, chiffon, taffeta, rayon, a polyester-blend, nylon, lace and linen. Hand finished, natural or imported fabrics are usually of higher quality and higher price. The fabric you choose will most likely be dictated by your personal taste and the time of year you are getting married. Fall and winter weddings, for example, usually have heavier fabrics (satin, rich taffetas, velvet). Spring and summer weddings usually have lighter fabrics (lace, chiffon, satin). The choice is yours. 

TRAIN LENGTHS & TYPES

There are three different train lengths, four different train types and numerous train designs and decorations (lace, beads, sequins, pearls, appliqués). Typically, the longer the train the more formal the wedding. 

The three different train lengths are: 

* Sweep - lays about 6 inches behind bride
* Chapel - lays up to 22 inches behind the bride, and 
* Cathedral - lays over 22 inches behind bride. 

The various train types that fall behind the bride at different areas are: 

* Attached - from the back of the skirt , 
* Watteau - from back yoke of dress, 
* Caplet - from back shoulder, and 
* Detachable - removable from your waist. 

COLOR

Choose the color of the gown that you look and feel best in. Ivory is usually chosen for an old-fashion look, while the pastels have traditionally been used for second marriages. 

CONTRACT

Most bridal shops require a 50% down payment to order your gown. Make sure you understand their exchange and cancellation policies, what measures they will take if the gown comes in the wrong color or size, what the alteration fee is and what the alteration fee covers. Lastly, get a receipt that includes the style and color of the gown, the total cost of your gown, headpiece, veil and accessories, things that were promised to you, the deposit you paid, and the date the gown will be delivered to the shop. This can help avoid any misunderstandings. 

CUSTOM MADE GOWNS

If you would like to design a unique wedding gown or you just cannot find the gown you like, consider having one custom made. Before you commit to having a gown custom made, try on various styles and fabrics. You want to make sure the style you have chosen meets your expectations and that the fabric does not create a rash or some other allergic reaction. Secondly, allow at least 6 months for the time to make the dress and to have fittings and/or alterations. Thirdly, choose a dressmaker who specializes in creating wedding gowns and provide him/her with pictures of similar style gowns you like. Next, ask to see previous samples and ask for references. Lastly, get everything in writing so there are no misunderstandings (total cost of fabric, lace, pearls..., cost of labor, deadline, deposit, cancellation policy...). 

ANTIQUE GOWNS

If your dream wedding is stepping out of a horse and buggy in an old-fashion or Victorian style wedding dress you may want to consider using an heirloom gown. If you do not have an heirloom gown call on antique shops, some may carry them. 

QUALITY

It is important to check the quality and details of your gown (buttons, seams, zippers, pearls, lace, sequins). Quality also plays a factor in the price. Some gown manufacturers, for example, glue on the sequins, pearls and lace. These gowns tend to be less expensive than those that were sewn on by hand.

FITTINGS

You probably will have two to four fittings depending upon the dress you have chosen. Schedule your first fitting about two months prior to your wedding date. Bring similar undergarments (slip, bra...) and shoes that you will wear on your wedding day. This will avoid any miscalculations. Take a picture of your dress during your fitting, this may help you match your accessories. 

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Bridesmaids' Dresses

Your bridesmaids' dresses should be chosen at least five months prior to your wedding date. They also should compliment your gown and fit in with the type, decor and color scheme of your wedding.

The bride-to-be selects the bridesmaids, matron or maid of honor, junior bridesmaids and flower girl's dresses. You can find these dresses at bridal shops or off the rack at department stores. 

The fabric you choose for the dresses will usually depend upon the time of year you marry. Before selecting your bridesmaids' dresses consider their ages, styles, figures and budget. If you are getting married in a church or synagogue make sure there are no dress restrictions. 

It is a good idea to consult at least one of your attendants before making your final decision, and to choose a dress that your attendants will be able to wear again. If the dress you have chosen is too expensive for your attendants budgets you may want to offer to pay for some or all of the expense (i.e., deposit, accessories, shoes and stockings).

The matron or maid of honor should be distinguished from the other attendants. For she is the person you have chosen to stand by your side on your wedding day and help you through your wedding details. She may be distinguished by wearing a different color, different dress, headpiece or her bouquet may have more flowers.

The flower girl can match your bridesmaids or wear a different dress. She usually carries a basket of flowers and may drop rose petals down the aisle before the bride.

For an out-of-town bridesmaid, you may suggest that she call her local bridal shops to see if they carry the same style and name dress. If so, have her try on the dress there for size. Otherwise, have her give you her size over the phone. Try to order all of the dresses at the same time to avoid any slight variations of color.

Once your bridesmaid dresses are in, some bridal shops offer to contact the bridesmaids for you. Others will contact the bride-to-be and have her contact her attendants. If your bridesmaid is out-of-town send her the dress with specific directions about alterations. Specify the number of inches from floor the dress should hang. Remind your bridesmaids to bring the same shoes or heels they will wear on your wedding day when they get their dresses altered.

Most bridal shops require that the bridesmaids leave a down payment to order the dress. Make sure you understand their return and cancellation policies, what measures they will take if the dresses come in the wrong color or size and what the alteration fee is. Get a receipt that includes the style, color and cost of the dresses, and the date the dresses will be delivered to the shop. This can help avoid any misunderstandings.

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Men's Formal Wear: Tuxedos

Today's formal wear has become more versatile. There are numerous styles, colors and designs to choose from. 

It is important to seek the help of an experienced formal wear business to guide you in your selection, but first you should do the following before booking your wedding.


1) Have a certain look and color in mind. The men's formal wear should compliment the bridesmaids' attire, color scheme of the wedding, formality, time of day, and location of the wedding. Browse through some magazines, look at friends wedding pictures, watch award shows on television. All these could give you ideas for your wedding tuxedos.

2) If you choose a specific style that is not available locally your formal wear specialist should be able to suggest something equitable. It is important to look for quality tuxedos, such as those by Pierre Cardin, Christian Dior, Lord West and After Six. Many smaller tuxedo manufacturers will release inferior-quality, copied styles of major manufacturers.

3) You should book you formal wear from three to six months in advance of your wedding date. If you are certain of the style you may want to book earlier to take advantage of any specials (several specials occur during the winter/spring months).

4) Your salesperson is important. He or she should be knowledgeable in formal wear, friendly and courteous, and able to provide you with suggestions as to how you can coordinate your wedding party. Because you are setting up an account with this company, you will have to deal with this person on a number of occasions. Make sure you have the confidence in him/her to be able to do that.

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Rehearsal Dinner

Following the rehearsal ceremony is the rehearsal dinner which is usually hosted by the groom's parents. This dinner can be formal - held at a fine Italian restaurant or informal - pizza and beer served at someone's home. Separate invitations are usually mailed to members of the wedding party and their spouses, relatives of the bride and groom, close friends from out-of-town and clergymen or women. This is the time to give the attendants' their gifts and for the groom's father to make the formal toast to the couple. Rehearsal dinners are meant to be fun and provide an opportunity for families and guests to get to know one another.

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Personal Web Site for your Wedding 

As more and more people are getting online, a wedding website is the new and practical way to inform your guests about your big day. It’s the latest, most efficient way of communicating with your guests and being accessible 24 hours a day. A wedding website is a wedding detail that your friends and guests will remember for a very long time.

A wedding website allows you to share your special event with those who were unable to attend the big day. Friends, family, co-workers and distant relatives worldwide who did not attend you big day are able to feel a part of the event even though they could not be there. It is also a great way to introduce your guests to the new couple and bridal party by providing biographies and stories about yourselves.

A Wedding website makes life easier by providing such features as:


* Wedding day details to inform guests where and when all the events will take place
* Receive RSVP’s electronically quickly and easily while saving money on postage
* Provide directions and maps your guests can download and print
* Accommodations - Provide information about your city for out of town guests. You can post suggested accommodations, favorite restaurants, attractions and other information about your city.
* Calendar of events (bridal showers, stags, brunches)
* A photo album to share wedding and honeymoon photos with friends and families
* Wedding party photos
* Family photos
* Story of how you met
* Story of the proposal
* A personal welcome message
* An online guest book where guests can offer their best wishes and thoughts
* An online gift registry or convenient links to your registry, so guests can find out where you are registered and buy online
* Contact information
* Seating maps
* Your dinner menu

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Ceremony Suggestions

Your ceremony symbolizes everlasting love and commitment between you and your fiancé. It is very special so you will want to make sure all the details are covered. Below are some suggestions.

When
Check the availability of your wedding date and time with the ceremony site and officiant. This should be done as soon as possible, especially, if you do not have a church or synagogue that you regularly attend. 

Where
There are many places you can have your wedding ceremony. However, this will depend upon your religious beliefs, the type of ceremony you would like to have, and the number of guests that the site can accommodate. Some examples of ceremony sites are: churches, homes, hotels, parks or gardens, private clubs, ships or boats, wineries, historical mansions, museums, synagogues or chapels. 


Types
You should discuss the type of wedding ceremony that you and your fiancé feel most comfortable with. If you both are from different denominations review the practices and beliefs of each before making your final decision. The different types of wedding ceremonies are Civil, Jewish, Military, Orthodox, Protestant, Roman Catholic, candlelight, or create your own. Some civil weddings, for example, allow you to write the entire ceremony. Other types of ceremonies permit you to include your favorite passages or even write your own vows. 

Styles

There are different styles of ceremonies. Verify the styles that are available to you with your officiant (i.e., formal or informal, long or short, day or night). 

Officiant
You should select an officiant to conduct your wedding ceremony that you feel most comfortable working with. The officiant will be responsible for expressing your sentiments about your marriage in a style that coincides with the rest of your wedding. Below are some examples of officiants. 

Clergymen usually perform religious wedding ceremonies at churches or temples. Some clergymen don't have requirements officiating only in churches or temples. They may perform wedding ceremonies outdoors or at another site. If other sites are of interest you, talk to your clergyman. 

The Justice Of The Peace usually presides at non-religious and civil wedding ceremonies. He/she is elected or appointed to the position. Some Justices Of The Peace are local judges or other elected town officials. Your town clerk should have a list of the officiants in your area. 

Religious Restrictions

* Religious restrictions may vary depending upon the religion, officiant and/or ceremony site. It is important for you to ask the officiant about their policies before making your final decision. Here are some examples: 
* Many Christian denominations require that the bride or groom be a baptized Christian.
* In Catholic ceremonies the bride and/or groom must be a participating Catholic. Unlike Protestant Churches they may not require the couple to be practicing.
* Most of the Jewish temples require that one of the persons getting married is Jewish. 
* Civil ceremonies seem to be the least restricting. They can take place almost anywhere and can be as inform or formal as you would like them to be. 

Questions To Ask The Officiant

* If you and your fiancé have two different religious backgrounds can you be married at that site? If you choose, can more than one officiant take part in the ceremony (one from each religion)? 
* If you or your fiancé were previously married are there any restrictions?
* What are the restrictions for flowers, videographer, photographer, dress, music, decorations, pew bows...?
* Who else is scheduled before/after me? Will I have time to take pictures?
* Are separate dressing rooms available before the ceremony?
* Can bird seed and confetti be thrown? 
* When can the florist, videographer... set-up prior to the ceremony? 
* How many guests can the church accommodate? 
* Does the ceremony site supply equipment that can be used for the ceremony (candelabras, knee cushions, extra chairs, etc.)?
* Will the church or synagogue have any special decorations or flowers displayed on your wedding day that may enhance or clash with the wedding?
* Can I use my own musician and/or vocalist?
* When does the marriage license need to be presented? 

Readings
You may want to include special friends and family, who are not part of the wedding party, to take a part in your ceremony. Ask them, for example, to bring the communion and wine to the priest, read a passage or poem during the ceremony. 

Rehearsal
Schedule a ceremony rehearsal once you choose your ceremony site and officiant. 

Decorations and Equipment

Many churches already have wedding candelabras, candles, knee cushions, aisle runners, extra tables and chairs, serving trays, and linens available for the bridal couple to use.  Check with the minister or wedding coordinator at the church to see what is available before you rent expensive equipment from an outside vendor. 

Premarital Classes
Some churches require that the future bride and groom attend one or more premarital classes. These classes focus on various topics that help you define and discuss the meaning of the marriage, your expectations, how to handle possible problems, finances, etc. These classes are required with the Catholic church. The number of sessions varies from church to church. 

Fees
Ask the officiant about all related fees, how and when they need to be paid (i.e., rental, musicians, clean-up, officiant...). The prices may vary depending upon the type and style of your ceremony. 

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Wedding Vows

With This Ring...    The Vow, a solemn or sacred affirmation and promise. Personal vows that are enhanced with deep feeling, commitment and heartfelt expression allow couples to match these promises to their individual affection.

If a couple decides to write their own vows, it is first important that they define their relationship in terms of what life- long values are important to them. 

Selecting three to four, that describe their genuine devotion, is a good way to start composing vows.


The list and phrases below may be of use.

Spirituality -belief, faith, worship, celebration of God--to love and see each other through God's eyes

Loyalty -faithful, steadfast, trustworthy, devoted, dependable

Nurture -foster, strengthen, provide, share good, share bad, support

Friendship -patience, kindness, companionship, harmony, intimacy, fellowship

Respect -honesty, fairness, appreciation, admiration, consideration

Cherish -love, hold dear, treasure, value, honor, shelter, adore

Happiness -joy, delight, content, bliss, gratification, blessing, comfort

Soul Mate -one who walks in the same path in a complementary fashion

In addition to the vows, a couple may choose to use songs, poetry or quotations as part of their wedding ceremony.

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Music for your Ceremony

Ceremony music plays an important role during your ceremony. This music can set the mood and the tone of your wedding day. Therefore, it deserves a great deal of thought and consideration. After all, the very first contact each guest may have with you on your wedding day is upon entering the church or ceremony site. 

You will want your guests to enter into the right atmosphere and music helps to create it. Vocal music can, through the lyrics, help to create the image of love that is being celebrated. Or instrumentalists can create a reflective or upbeat mood with class and elegance. 

Most churches have organists who regularly perform for wedding ceremonies. It is common to hire other musicians with or instead of the organist: a vocalist, violinist, flutist, trumpeters, brass quintets, string quartets, woodwind trios, harp, flute and guitar duos. For more information, refer to the music specialists in this section.

Some churches are strict about non-sacred songs being performed so it is important for you to discuss music planning with your church music director, priest or pastor. Also review the logistics with your pastor and musicians. For example, type of service, number of readings, number of attendants in bridal party, selections for prelude music, possible places during the ceremony for music, and most of all, your music selections. This will help your ceremony flow smoothly.

Here is a sample of ceremony songs:

* Bridal Chorus - Richard Wagner (traditional processional)
* Wedding March - Felix Mendelssohn (traditional recessional)
* Trumpet Voluntary - Jeremiah Clarke
* Trumpet Tune - Henry Purcell
* Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring - J.S. Bach
* Air - G.F. Handel
* Canon in D - Johann Pachelbel
* Air On A G String - J.S. Bach
* Allegro Maestoso - G.F. Handel
* Ave Maria - Charles Gounod
* The Wedding Song - Stookey
* The Lord's Prayer - Albert Malotte
* All I Ask of You - Andrew Webber
* The Wind Beneath My Wings - Henley/Silbar

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Helps in Planning your Reception

Your reception is where many couples spend most of their effort planning. There are a number of details to cover. 

STEP 1: BUDGET

* Determine your budget before you start your planning.
* Set your limit to avoid wasting time looking at sites that may not fit your budget.
* It is a good idea to leave a cushion to cover unexpected costs.

STEP 2: GUEST LIST

* Estimate the number of guests that will attend.
* The number of guests will impact your budget and the location of your reception.

STEP 3: TYPE

A. Decide on the type of reception you would like to have:

* formal or informal
* indoor or outdoor
* large or small
* themes
* time of year (winter, spring, summer or fall)
* afternoon or evening

B. Plan your ideal wedding without leaving anything out. Then, cut back on the reception to realistically fit your budget and surroundings.

C. There are several possibilities to choose from. Just use your imagination:

* A simple, but elegant champagne brunch or dessert buffet
* A classy cocktail party with horsdoeuvres
* A unique tropical or international theme
* A social cocktail party with buffet or sit-down dinner
* A formal black tie, sit-down dinner 

STEP 4: WHEN

A. Most weddings are planned for Saturday with the reception to follow. If you are planning a Saturday wedding at a well know reception site and/or in a popular month (April thru November) book your wedding and reception site as soon as possible. A good rule of thumb is to book your wedding and reception as far as 12 to 24 months in advance.

B. To increase the chance of having your wedding on the weekend you prefer consider a Friday evening, Sunday or Saturday afternoon wedding and reception;

* These days tend to be more available with a reception site, DJ, band, etc...
* You may save money because some reception sites offer discounted wedding packages.
* Some restaurants will close down exclusively for your reception.
* If a Friday or Sunday wedding is something you are interested in, check with the ceremony and reception site of your choice to see if this is possible.

STEP 5: WHERE

A. Use the experienced staff of a professional reception site to help you plan an ideal reception.

B. Your reception site depends upon the location, number of guests, and budget.

C. Choose a place that can best accommodate the style of your wedding. You have a variety of locations to explore:

* Bed & Breakfasts
* Catering Halls
* Church or Synagogue
* Country Clubs
* Historical Mansions
* Home
* Hotel Banquet Rooms
* Outdoor or Garden Weddings
* Private Dining Rooms In Restaurants

D. Wherever you decide to have your reception, review the following before making your decision:

Recommendations

* Ask family/friends for recommendations of locations they have enjoyed and what they liked and disliked most about the facility.
* Consult with the reception specialists in this section for suggestions.

Church or Synagogue

* Make sure the church or synagogue will comfortably seat your guests.
* Ask what type of fees and restrictions there are (for example, decorations, alcohol, caterers, music, etc...).

Private Home

Space: The home should be large enough to comfortably hold your guests.

Preparation Of Food/Beverage/Setup: A number of things will happen on your wedding day and you do not want to have to worry about the food, beverages and setup. Therefore, if your budget can allow for a caterer it is highly recommended to leave it up to the professionals. There is no need to add stress to your day.

Parking: Make sure their is sufficient parking. If necessary, make arrangements with neighbors.

Bad Weather: If you are planning an outdoor wedding make other arrangements in case there is bad weather (for example, to move inside of the private home or rent enclosed tents).
Restrooms: Make sure there are adequate restroom facilities and supplies.


Wedding Packages

* Call multiple places for their complete wedding packages.
* Choices for the food service usually include sit-down, buffet or orsdoeuvores.
* Beverage options may include open bar, cash bar, pay by the drink (set your budget for this), bring your own, beer and wine only, punch, coffee/tea and/or soda.

Schedule An Appointment

* Review several wedding packages and choose those you are interested in.

Make an appointment to meet with the banquet or catering manager to:

* Look at the facilities, get all of your questions answered and to discuss the wedding packages in detail.
* Find out exactly what is included and what is not included in the packages (for example, horsdoeuvres, meals, desserts, beverages, bar, sales tax, service charges, gratuity, and other fees that you should be aware of).
* Ask who will act as the master of ceremony at your reception. This person would work through the reception details, be present for the major events of your reception and ensure that everything happens at the proper time (for example, announce the bridal party, dinner is served, toast and blessing, cake cutting, garter toss, first dance, etc...). At some facilities the banquet or catering manager also acts as the master of ceremonies.

Before your wedding give the banquet or catering manager a list of special events you would like to occur throughout the evening so there will be no surprises. Also, provide him/her a list of names of the bridal party prior to the wedding so he/she can be prepared to announce them properly.

Layout

* Look at the facility and make sure it is not too big or small.
* Design a suitable layout that will seat your guests comfortably.
* Allow room for a bar, head-table, parents table, dance floor, music, sweets table, cake table, gifts table, horsdoeuvres table, favors, box for envelopes...
* The layout should allow your guests to move freely around the room to stimulate conversation (for example, the bar set-up normally is away from buffet or food service area).
* Ask the banquet or catering manager to offer suggestions for the layout of the room. He/she most likely will inform you of what has worked best in the past with similar set-ups for that location.

Prior Visit

* Schedule to visit the site during another wedding to see how the affair is handled.
* Go to the site during the same time of day and month of your wedding to see what type of lighting is expected.

Down Payments

* Some require a nonrefundable down payment to secure the date.
* Make sure the ceremony and all other scheduled events coincide with the date of the reception.

Contract

* Review the contract thoroughly including the small print.
* Get everything in writing to eliminate any misunderstandings.
* Write down the reception room and itemize all food, services, liquor, rentals and their r associated costs.

Out-Of-Town Guests

* If there are out-of-town guest arrange for their lodging needs.
* If your reception is at a hotel ask if they offer special group rates.
* Give your guests options. Some guests may want more luxurious accommodations, while others may want budget locations.
* Factor in the time it will take to go from the ceremony to the reception and then plan accordingly. Will the out-of-town guests need transportation?
* If there is a large lapse of time between the wedding and reception you should note the times on your wedding invitation.
* It is important to keep your guests informed of the agenda so they can plan accordingly.

STEP 6: HAVE A BALL!

Remember your wedding day is one of the most memorable events of your lifetime. The hard part is over! It is the time for celebration and good times. Forget about the details and make it a day and/or night to remember! 

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Reception Seating Arrangements

If you are going to have arranged seating with place cards you should plan to organize your guest tables at least two weeks before your wedding date. 

By this time you should have a complete list of guests that will be attending your reception. However, if you plan to have your place cards prepared by a calligrapher you may want to allow more time for your calligrapher. 


Guest Tables: 

* Ask your reception site to provide you a layout of the room you will be occupying for your wedding day.
* The layout should include the head table, guest tables and the number of guests per table, music, bar, dance floor, cake, exits,kitchen etc... 
* Group your guests with others that they know.
* Seat guests that don't know anyone else with others that they would have something in common with (i.e. same age group, live in the same area, etc...)
* Intermingle the tables of the groom's friends and family with the bride's friends and family.
* If there is not enough room at the head table for your attendants' guests seat them near the head table so they can socialize with members of the bridal party.

Head Table:

At a seated reception there usually is a "head table" that faces the room that the bride, groom, wedding party and their escorts (if there is enough room) are seated during dinner. 

* The bride and groom are seated at the center
* the maid/matron of honor is seated to the groom's left
* the best man is seated to the bride's right
* and the other attendants are seated on both sides next to the honor attendants alternating men and women.

Parents' Table: 

* Both the brides and grooms parents are seated at a table near the head table. 
* Grandparents, the officiant and his/her guest, along with any other special friends or family members can be seated at the Parent's Table.
* If this isn't feasible, each set of parents may have their own table where they may sit with immediate family, other relatives or close friends. 
* If either parent is divorced, each parent sits at a separate table with his or her relatives and special guests. 

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Divorced Parents:  Helpful Hints

Dealing with divorced parents for your wedding can be a sensitive issue, especially if there are hard feelings or if the parents don't get along. Therefore, this section will help guide the bride and groom through some things to consider.

Make a list of your family and extended family and decide whose input and participation is most important to you. Then decide how each is to contribute toward the wedding. If both parents are hosting the wedding delegate appropriately and communicate clearly the roles they will be playing as far in advance of your wedding date as possible (ie ceremony, reception, receiving line, photographs, first dance, seating at the reception and anything else you can think of). In order to make your planning and the day of your wedding go as smooth as possible there should be no surprises for any of the families involved on the wedding day.

CEREMONY

If bride was raised by the stepfather and the father is hosting the wedding the bride may walk down alone, with mother, or have the father escort half way down the aisle and step father the other half of way down.

If bride is close to both her father and stepfather have both walk down aisle, if amicable. If not, have the one that has played the significant role in the bride's life walk her down the aisle and involve the other in some special way (i.e., read a passage at ceremony or give first parental toast, etc...

Mothers and their spouses sit in the front pew on the respective sides of the church or synagogue. Fathers and their spouses sit behind the mothers. If you prefer that the father or the person that raised you sit in the front row, have them sit with their spouse or if they are not married sit alone or with a close relative/friend, or both parents sit in the same row with spouses, if amicable.

INVITATIONS - Refer to the invitation specialists in this issue for more information. 

Typically the parent hosting the reception issues the invitation (ie if the mother is hosting the invitation would read Ms. Ann Smith requests the honor of your presence...). If the parent hosting is remarried the stepparent would also be included on the invitation (ie Mr. & Mrs. Darrin Fay requests the honor of your presence...)

If both parents are hosting the reception both names may appear on the invitation, but on two separate lines. The mother is listed first and you may want to include maiden name (ie Mrs. Ann Cannon Smith and Mr. Bill Smith requests the honor of your presence...).

If both parents are hosting the reception, but prefer not to be listed together the invitation may read "The honor of you presence is requested...".

If both parents are hosting the reception and both or either are remarried, step-parent(s) are included on the invitation (ie Ms. Ann Cannon Smith and Mr. & Mrs. Bill Smith requests the honor of your presence...)

Bride and Groom can issue the invitation themselves.

RECEPTION SEATING - Refer to the "Reception" section on seating arrangements

Bride and groom are seated at the head table and the divorced parents sit at separate tables with their own relatives, close friends and special guests.

Step Father can host a particular table at the reception or host a dinner party for the groom's family prior to wedding

RECEIVING LINE - 

Step parents are ordinarily not part of the receiving line unless they are hosting the wedding. The one hosting the wedding begins the receiving line. If this is going to create a conflict or if the logistics are too complicated you may want to consider to eliminate the receiving line all together. 

If the brides stepmother is part of the receiving line position her after the groom's mother. If the groom's stepmother is part of the receiving line position her after the bride's stepmother. It is optional for fathers to be in the receiving line, however if they are included they should stand next to their wives. Divorced spouses should not stand next to each other.

FIRST DANCE

To keep things simple it may be easier to have one arranged dance with your new husband (the traditional first dance). Then invite all your guests to join in. However, if the bride prefers to dance with both the father and stepfather dance first with the parent that raised you or has the most significant role in your life.

PHOTOGRAPHS

Provide the photographer a list of each family groups and allow time between photos. 
It is not appropriate to have photographs taken of your divorced parents alone together. If your parents are amicable you may have them included in a picture with the bride and groom, without their significant others. Have photos taken of the bride and groom with each parent or couple (if married).

WEDDING CONSULTANT

Consider hiring a professional wedding consultant if parents can not agree on plans. The consultant can act as an impartial opinion when needed.

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Out-of-Town Guests

When guests are coming from out of town, show your appreciation with a little extra hospitality. Offer to arrange accommodations for their stay. Try to spend time with them before the ceremony, because you may not get much of a chance afterwards. If they arrive a day or two before the wedding, perhaps they can ride with you as you complete last minute errands. You may want to include them in the rehearsal dinner party. 

If you are expecting many close family members and friends from out of town that you don’t get a chance to see often, consider giving yourselves one day to visit and relax before taking off on your honeymoon. It can be fun to get together the following day for brunch and to relive the wedding or open some gifts. The extra time spent with you will be well appreciated.

Put together a local survival kit; containing all of the information your guests might need for their short stay. Some items to include: 

* Directions to the nearest sundries shop if none in hotel 
* Menus from local restaurants; always include local maps 
* Brochures for local amusements 
* List of taxi/car services, including phone numbers or provide for them 
* Directions to the nearest same-day dry cleaners (accidents happen) 
* Local sources for fax, email, and FedEx (work doesn’t always stop because you get married) 
* Driving instructions from hotel to rehearsal, from the hotel to wedding and reception locations and back again. 

HOTEL/MOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS FOR OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS

Reserve a hotel/motel from 3-8 months in advance of your wedding. Check with the hotel/motel as earlier as possible. Some hotels/motels are booked the same time each year do to annual functions (for example, conventions, college graduations, etc...).

Ask the hotel/motel about special group rates or wedding packages. Some hotels/motels will include a complimentary room or suite for the bride and groom.

Most hotels/motels will handle the room bookings for your guests. Some will provide you with registration cards that you could include with your wedding invitation or send separately to your out-of-town guests about 3 months in advance of your wedding. These cards make it easy for your guests to reserve their room.

If your out-of-town guests are traveling by plane you may want to see if the hotel provides a shuttle to and from the airport. If so, check to see if this information is explained on the registration card provided by the hotel/motel. If the hotel/motel does not provide a shuttle service you may want to inform your guests to make those arrangements.

You may want to offer your guests a choice three hotels/motels. For example, economy, middle of the road, and a plush hotel/motel.

The hotels/motels will typically hold your reserved rooms up to 2-3 weeks in advance of your wedding date. The rooms that were not reserved by that date are available to the public and are booked on a first come first serve basis.

Some brides and grooms may want to leave in the rooms of their out-of-town guests a welcome package. This package is from the bride and groom welcoming their guests to town. It may include candies, fruit, splits of wine, sparkling water, nuts, snacks, a map, special instructions, a personalized note from the bride and groom, etc... If you are thinking of leaving a welcome package plan ahead of time with the hotel/motel. Some hotels/motels will handle the distribution of the packages on the day of your wedding.

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Bridal Gown Preservation

Like many brides, you may want to preserve your dress as a keepsake. Invisible stains from food, beverages, and body oils can become permanent yellow stains if not properly cleaned before storage. If you choose to wear an heirloom dress that has become discolored, it usually can be restored to the original color. Many wedding gowns are sold with one or more conflicting care procedures listed on the care label attached to the gown. This label outlines a practical cleaning method. Gowns that fail to withstand the care procedure should be returned to the retailer for adjustments. Some gowns may have to be mailed to a specific firm and are usually competitively priced as a local dry-cleaner would charge. Some dry cleaners may also customize your preservation.

You should have your dry-cleaner first test the gown for cleanability. Point out any stains or spills. Dry-cleaners typically treat the dress with solutions to slow down the deterioration process, press it and place acid-free tissue paper between the folds. Some cleaners will pack your gown in a special box for storage.

Store your gown in a cool, dry place. Don't store it in a basement or attic. A basement could cause mildew growth and attic heat could promote yellowing. If you decide to hang your gown, stuff the bodice with white tissue paper to prevent wrinkles. Sew straps to the waistline of the dress to relieve pressure on the shoulders from the weight of the skirt. Remove any fabric covered metal buttons, pins and sponge padding and store separately. Metal trims could oxidize and some padding materials can deteriorate which stains the fabric. Finally, wrap the dress in a protective white sheet or muslin covering.

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Honeymoon

Its party time! After all of the effort you put into planning your wedding you deserve to have the best time possible on your honeymoon. The following suggestions can help ensure that you get the most out of your honeymoon.

Traditionally the groom is responsible for taking care of the honeymoon arrangements (...with the approval of the bride...of course). You should start planning your honeymoon six to eight months prior to your wedding. You should book your honeymoon no later than four to five months prior to your wedding day to ensure that you get the accommodations your decide upon. The earlier you can book the better, especially if you are going to be traveling during peak seasons.

There is so much to do when planning your wedding, and planning your honeymoon is another job in itself. USE YOUR TRAVEL AGENT! These people are in the business of matching the right trips with the tastes of different people. They can take much of this burden off of your shoulders and can be your best ally. 


PLANNING YOUR HONEYMOON

The first step is for you and your spouse-to-be to decide what you are looking for (ie sun/snow, big city/camping in the woods, staying in one place/seeing many different ones, sightseeing historical or natural landmarks kicking back and just sipping a few Margaritas). Many times, you both may be looking for different things. There are places that can accommodate both your desires...so don't worry.

Next you should decide how much time you both can be away from home. You may have job requirements, or family responsibilities that may not allow you to be away as long as you'd like. The shorter amount of time you can afford to be away, probably means the shorter time you're going to want to spend traveling. For example, if you can only afford four days, you're probably not going to want to spend two full days in an airplane flying to some exotic place. By the time you get over jet-lag, you'll have to get back on the plane.

Now you should decide upon your budget, and how it will be spent. For example, most of us can only afford to spend so much on our honeymoon. Some people prefer to save money on airfare, and drive to some place relatively close. This way, once they get to their destination, they can spend the money they saved on airfare pampering themselves that much more. There are others that prefer to sacrifice the amount of shopping they are going to do at their destination so that they can afford to spend the extra money flying to a more exotic location. The choice is yours.

CRUISES

Cruises are popular because of a few reasons. They include all of the details (transportation, meals, entertainment, and recreation). Cruises also provide you the diversity of seeing many places on one trip, along with the flexibility to allow you to be real active one day while allowing you to relax the following day.

When choosing your cabin, you should choose one on the outside (the inside cabins don't have windows). If given the option of choosing a dining hour, the later ones tend to draw a younger crowd. Families tend to eat at the earlier dining hours.

You should make sure that you understand what kind of events there are going to be on board, so that you know what you should pack (ie. if there are black tie events...). Be sure to pack some casual/comfortable clothes for sight-seeing, along with some rubber soled shoes for walking on deck.

Find out from your travel agent what the tipping expectations are. They vary. Also find out if there are additional fees/taxes at the different ports of call.

Ask your doctor to recommend motion sickness remedies (just in case). You can get skin patches and/or pills among other things. If you do get seasick while on your cruise, don't stay in your cabin. Get some fresh air, and put something light (like crackers) in your stomach.

There tends to be plenty of good food on cruises. Be sure to check out the midnight buffets. This is where the chefs get a chance to show-off, and you get a chance to really pig-out.

On the last night of your cruise, you will probably be asked to leave your luggage outside of your cabin so it can be picked up. Be sure to keep an overnight bag with your essentials, along with some clothes to wear home.

-- BON VOYAGE --

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR TRAVEL AGENT

Once you get your possible destinations narrowed down to a few, you may want to ask your travel agent the following questions.

* Be sure to verify what the cost includes (for example, meals, alcoholic drinks, transportation, rental car, departure or other taxes, tips, gratuities,...).
* Find out what kind of food will be available to you, and make sure it does not clash with any dietary restrictions you might have.
* Are there any power problems at your destination (some exotic locations can lose electricity for hours at a time).
* Find out if there are any crime problems (some places wont allow you to walk on the beach at night because of this).
* Check with your insurance agent to see if your policy covers the replacement of lost or stolen articles while traveling. If it doesn't, you may want to discuss the various options with your insurance agent.
* You should also check with your health insurance provider to see what the proper procedures are in case you need medical attention while you are traveling.
* If you are going to require prescription medicine, and are traveling to a foreign country, verify with your travel agent or that country's embassy that this wont be a problem.
*  If traveling to another country ask if you need to be careful of the water or other foods known to cause illness.
*  Will electrical appliances work at your destination (blow-dryer, electric shavers..)
*  What is the average temperature and what types of clothes should be packed?
*  Do we need passports, visas, inoculations or special travel documents?
*  Do we need to exchange money before we leave?
*  What activities are available (tours, water sports, night clubs, golfing, shopping,...)
*  You may want to inquire about staying at a privately owned home or apartment as opposed to staying at a hotel for your honeymoon. Most privately owned homes or apartments offer the privacy and luxury of some of the most expensive accommodations, but for about the same cost as a mid-range hotel. Most have extensive grounds, private beaches, private pools, fully staffed or catered staff, and are available in the country or the city.* If traveling to another country ask if you need to be careful of the water or other foods known to cause illness.                                                            

HONEYMOON CHECKLIST

* Toiletries
* Camera and Film
* Prescription Medicine
* Music, Tapes, Batteries
* Precautionary Medication (motion sickness pills, anti-acids, aspirin, allergy medicine, hydrogen peroxide etc)
* Extra Corrective Lenses
* Travelers Checks, Foreign Currency, Major Credit Card
* Luggage Tags
* Important Phone Numbers and Addresses (ie your travel agent)
* Sunscreen
* Sunglasses
* Passport or Visa
* Airline Tickets, Hotel Information, Confirmation/Reservation #'s

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Remarriages

Second and third marriages have become more and more common. Remarriages, however, are just as important as the first. Planning a life together becomes especially important when children are a part of your lives. Conflicts may result between family members. These require tact, compassion and even self-sacrifice to come up with proper solutions. Each family member involved should talk it out calmly, express their feelings and their needs. Only then can issues be resolved.

According to traditional etiquette, a woman who is remarrying doesn't go through an engagement period - she just gets married. There are some things that are not necessary the second, third or more time around. Instead of an official announcement party, the engaged couple calls and writes friends and family members with the good news. Wearing a veil is not proper for the bride because this symbolizes virginity. Have one or two attendants instead of several in the bridal party. This may be a good time to include your children as attendants, a ring bearer or flower girls.

Time, place and wedding attire is broader with remarriages than with a traditional wedding ceremony. Whatever you choose to wear for your wedding depends upon the formality of the ceremony, time of day and what you like. For a formal wedding held after 6 pm the bride may wear a floor length evening gown. A silk, crepe, chiffon or velvet party dress may be worn during a formal afternoon ceremony. If the ceremony is informal and held during the day the bride may wear a street length silk dress or dressy suit in light colors. The grooms attire is easy - it always matches the brides according to the time of day. If the ceremony is formal and held in the evening wear a black tuxedo. For a more formal afternoon wedding, a stroller and gray striped trousers is appropriate. A dark business suit is appropriate for an informal day wedding. The grooms attendant usually dresses the same as the groom. The bridal attendant dresses in a coordinating style of the brides dress.

Usually the bride or groom invites a small number of people to attend the ceremony. Parents of the bride may invite guests to the reception, but if the bride and groom are over 30, they usually extend the invitations. Church weddings are still appropriate if approved by your clergy. Civil ceremonies, however, are the most popular for remarriages. Wherever the ceremony is held, it should be brief, intimate and personal. Typically there is no processional or recessional, aisle runner, satin ribbons and you are not given away.

Although the ceremony is usually small, you may invite as many guests as you like to the reception. Rituals such as the tossing of the bridal bouquet and garter are not necessary during the reception, however, you may still toast with champagne, cut the wedding cake and have the traditional first dance.

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Wedding Traditions:  How did they originate?

The first marriages were by capture, i.e., the groom would kidnap the woman, and take her away from her tribe with the help of a warrior friend, his best man, who would help him fight off other men who wanted this woman, and also help him prevent her family from finding them. The groom would put himself and his bride into hiding, the honeymoon, and by the time the bride’s family found them, the bride would already be pregnant. When the groom fought off other warriors who also wanted his bride, he would hold onto her with his left hand, while fighting them off with his sword in his right hand, which is why the bride stands on the left, and the groom on the right.

Although the above was common, marriage by purchase was preferred. Usually the bride would be bartered for land, social status, or political alliances, but sometimes she was exchanged for cash. The Anglo-Saxon word "wedd" meant that the groom would vow to marry the woman, but it also meant the money or barter that the groom paid the bride’s father. A wedding, then, literally meant the purchase of a bride for breeding purposes. The word wedding comes from a root word meaning to gamble or wager.

There were also arranged marriages, where the groom’s family told him who he was to marry, and they very rarely let him see the bride because if he didn’t like her looks, he may refuse to marry her. Therefore, the father of the bride gave the bride away to the groom, who lifted the opaque veil to see her for the first time. This is also the origin of the custom of the bride and groom not seeing each other on the wedding day.

Tying The Knot

The expression "tie the knot" comes from Roman times when the bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots which the groom had the fun of untying.

Engagement Rings

Diamond engagement rings were given by medieval Italians, because of their belief that the diamond was created from the flames of love.

Bachelor Party & Showers

Ancient Spartan soldiers were the first to hold stag parties. The groom would feast with his male friends on the night before the wedding. There he would say goodbye to the carefree days of bachelorhood and swear continued allegiance to his comrades.

Bridal showers were also meant to strengthen the friendships between the bride and her friends, give her moral support, and help her prepare for her marriage. The idea to give gifts is fairly new, dating from the 1890’s. At one shower, the bride’s friend placed small gifts inside a Japanese parasol, and then opened it over the bride’s head so all of the presents would "shower" over her. When word of this hit the fashion pages, people were so charmed, they decided to do the same at their showers.

Bridesmaids & Groomsmen

The bridal party has many origins, one of which comes from the Anglo Saxon days. When the groom was about to capture his bride, he needed the help of his friends, the "bridesmen" or "brideknights". They would make sure the bride got to the church and to the groom’s house afterwards. The bride also had women to help her, the "bridesmaids" or "brideswomen".

The White Wedding Dress

The white wedding dress was made popular by Anne of Brittany in 1499. Before that, a woman just wore her best dress. In ancient days, blue (not white) represented purity, and the bride and groom would wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding attire, hence something blue.

Tossing the Bouquet & Garter

In the 14th century, having a piece of the bride’s clothing was thought to bring good fortune. In order to obtain a piece of this lucky attire, guests would grab at the wedding dress and tear off pieces of it, leaving the dress in tatters. In order to stop this practice, brides began throwing items at the guests. One of these items was the garter belt. Today, it is usually the Groom who removes and tosses the garter to the unmarried men in attendance, while the Bride tosses her bouquet to the unmarried women. Those that catch either item are said to be the next to marry. In some instances, it is said that they will marry each other.

There have been a few different interpretations of the luck of the garter belt. In some cases, it was considered luck to be able to hold onto a piece of the bride’s clothing, and she would throw the garter. In other cases, it was lucky for the single men attending the wedding. It was a symbol, which allowed single men to share in the fortune (good luck) of the groom who would throw it.

Wedding Rings

It is unknown when wedding rings were first worn. They were probably made of a strong metal, like iron so that it wouldn’t break easily which would have been a very bad omen. The ancient Romans believed that the vein in the third finger ran directly to the heart, so wearing the ring on that finger joined the couples hearts and destiny.

The Wedding Cake

Wedding just wouldn’t be complete without fertility symbols, like the wedding cake. Ancient Romans would bake a cake made of wheat or barley and break it over the bride’s head as a symbol of her fertility. It became tradition to pile up several small cakes, one on top of the other, as high as they could, and the bride and groom would kiss over the tower and try not to knock it down. If they were successful, it meant a lifetime of prosperity. During the reign of King Charles II of England, it became customary to turn this cake into an enjoyably edible palace, iced with white sugar.

Tying old shoes to the back of the Couple’s car

The tradition of tying old shoes to the back of the Couple’s car stems from Tudor times when guests would throw shoes at the Bride & Groom, with great luck being bestowed on them if they or their carriage were hit!

In Anglo Saxon times the Bride was symbolically struck with a shoe by her Groom to establish his authority. Brides would then throw shoes at their bridesmaids to see who would marry next.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue and a Silver Sixpence in her Shoe

This rhyme originated in Victorian times. ‘Something Old’ signifies that the Couple’s friends will stay with them. In one version of the tradition the ‘Something Old’ was an old garter which was given to the bride by a happily married woman so that the new bride would also enjoy a happy marriage. ‘Something New’ looks to the future for health, happiness and success. ‘Something Borrowed’ is an opportunity for the Bride’s family to give her something as a token of their love (it must be returned to ensure Good Luck), and 'Something Blue' is lucky because Blue represents fidelity and constancy. The custom began in ancient Israel where brides wore a blue ribbon in their hair to symbolize their fidelity. A sixpence was placed in the shoe to bring the couple wealth in their married life. Some brides still place a penny in their shoe during the marriage ceremony.

Flowers

Flowers have always been a big feature at Weddings. The Groom is supposed to wear a flower that appears in the Bridal Bouquet in his button-hole. This stems from the Medieval tradition of a Knight wearing his Lady’s colors, as a declaration of his love. Each flower has its own meaning and can display a special message. Orange Blossom, for instance, signifies chastity, purity and loveliness, while red chrysanthemum means " I love you "

Food for Thought

The Wedding Cake was originally lots of little wheat cakes that were broken over the Bride’s head to bestow good luck and fertility. Today’s three tier Wedding Cake is based on the unusual shape of the spire of Saint Bride’s Church in London. Traditionally the newly-weds should make the first cut to signify sharing their life. Every guest than eats a crumb to ensure good luck. And sleeping with a piece under her pillow is said to make a single woman dream of her future husband. The giving of almond favors is connected with the motto: ‘A gift of five almonds represents health, wealth, long life, fertility and happiness. The throwing of confetti, meanwhile is an ancient fertility rite. Handfuls of grain or nuts were traditionally thrown because they are ‘life-giving’ seeds. In some European countries, eggs are thrown instead.

Get me to the Church…

Walking was thought to be the best way of getting to Church, as there’s more chance of spotting lucky omens. Seeing a rainbow, having the sun shine on the Bride and meeting a black cat or a chimney sweep are all lucky.

Bad omens include seeing a pig, hare or lizard running across the road, or spotting an open grave. Make sure the road is clear on Monks or Nuns too, they foretell barrenness and a life dependent on charity.

Coming home from Church can be equally hazardous. Tradition dictates the new wife must enter her home by the main door and, to avoid bad luck, must never trip or fall - hence the custom that a bride should be carried over the threshold.

Dressing Up

Until the Nineteen Hundreds Brides hardly ever bought a special Wedding Dress, opting for their best outfit instead. Green was always avoided, as it was though to be unlucky. To say a girl ‘had a green gown’ also implied that she was of loose morals, because her dress would be grass-stained due to rolling around in the fields! Hence ‘Marry in Green, ashamed to be seen’. White Dresses were made popular by Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of royals marrying in Silver. Symbolizing purity and virginity, white was also thought to ward off evil spirits. Other traditions are that the bride should never make her own dress, that the final stitch should not be completed until she is departing for the Church and that she should never try on the entire outfit before the day. This was because it was felt dangerous for the Bride to count her chickens. For the same reason, a Bride should never practice signing her new name until it is legally hers, and wedding linen was marked with the Brides maiden rather than married initials. The tradition of Bridesmaids is evolved from the custom of surrounding the Bride with other richly dressed women, in order to confuse evil spirits.

Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, you will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town.

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Interesting Wedding and Honeymoon Statistics